no more no more!!!! >.<

I think I'm over people who do not make the effort to be apart of my life. Sometimes I think I really trust in people way too much. And what it ultimately brings me is heartache and frustration. I've given you three chances and still you blew me off and didn't even seem to care about how your actions would affect me. Fine, it's okay. I guess I just to have to say I'm sorry, I'm not yours keep anymore. I've moved on and I seriously thought that we had so much potential -- now we'll never know. why do people always seem to disappoint me like that? I guess shame on me for believing and for trusting. I was wrong and I already didn't like to admit it the first time around -- well this time with both hands up, I admit it. In situations like these, the inner me (my gut feeling) is saying "I told you so" !!

I hate these ultimatum feelings I have. Now whatever you do or say -- you'll never win me back or have me the way you did. Sorry but you hurt me way too much and I don't think I can go through it again and I don't think I deserve that much pain a second time.

I had so much to give you.
I could have loved you so much.
I understood you and you didn't realize that.
You might not know it now, but you'll miss me.
My pride is in the way now, I won't ever admit I need you anymore.
Leaving now.

First week of work!

First week of work has been great! I know I've said it to many people and I must say it again, thanks for standing by my side and cheering me on. I probably wouldn't be heres if it weren't for some of you guys!

The break down of my first work week --
My two bosses did not hesitate to put me straight to work! Hehe. I've been doing ALOT of research. Thankfully college prepared me quite well for that. I'm currently invovled in two projects that the administrative department is working on. I feel very well-incorporate into the department and I'm glad they're really patient with me. The two projects are pretty interesting. I' ve learned alot in these past few days. I'm loving it but it also has been at parts, a bit overwhelming! But I can't complain...!!

I'm exhausted! Now I know why people who work always look soooo pale and unhappy! The lack of sleep sucks and not to mention the long hours. I'll probably bum around for another 1/2 hour to an hour then head off to bed! Hope everyone's week is coming along great!

Finally

I do agree that everything happens for a reason. It's almost been a year since I left school and only now are things clearer. I admit - and I haven't admitted this to anyone is that I was lost for a year. I know many people didn't know that about me and probably thought I knew what I wanted and that I was on my way. But that just isn't 100% true. I think I really did need the time off to be lost and clueless cause without that, there'd be no struggle on my behalf to figure out just what I needed to do next. I was just thinking last night that things are starting to all piece together and I can't be happier. It's about time!!!!

Wish me luck... cause I'll need it today! :)

I haven't posted in quite awhile. I guess I just wasn't in the mood to blog about my sadness and I think many of my readers are sick of me being depressed. So definitely on a lighter note, I'm doing MUCH better. I think I'm just sick of it, I'm tired of it. I don't want to be the sad, always waiting type of girl anymore. I don't deserve any of that treatment.

Last weekend was pretty darn fun. First I headed to Tigerheat for Eddie's 21st Bday. It was pretty crazy, dance my heart out and it sure felt good. I haven't had that natural high in quite a LONG time and I sure needed it. Friday night I hit up a bar with some local friends called Avalon, sooo chill and I love it. Saturday was SD, we went to downtown SD and partied. Awesome awesome fun.

I know this weekend will probably be another hectic one, but I love it! :)It's definitely time to start being happy because I don't deserve any less.