Answers

It's late and I'm still sitting here, sad. I heard something today and I realized it might be true. The statement is "we sign up for the pain we receive" -- I've been thinking about that all night and I realized that this heartache I have (aside from what I said in my last post) was semi self inflicted. I knew that you had trouble committing and that you're heart is occupied right now, but I still went for it anyways. I had (have) faith in you, in me, and in us. I read the look on your face when we met and realized that you were in it from the beginning. Was I wrong? Did I misinterpret?

There are so many reasons, explanations running through my head right now. First, did I misinterpret? Did I mess this up? Did I do this and that... but I know I'll never get an answer. And maybe you don't have one either. Maybe it's bad timing, maybe there are tooo many circumstances fighting against us that it was doomed from the moment we met. But I can't help have that "regret" feeling inside of me. What reason should I tell myself so that I can sleep better? feel better?

We did connect and we understood each other. What happened since Saturday? What happened? I really don't understand your reaction -- I really don't...It was those moments that are making me feel this "what could have been" feeling...

Is this really the end?? No more?